Robert moved down to Invercargill from Auckland for work last summer, and decided to stick around for the winter to see snow for the first time in his life. He didn't really like the snow, but there isn't particularly anywhere else that he'd rather be right now, so he's still here. Work isn't too hard to find on the South Island either, which is always convenient. Right now, Robert has a job cutting the fat off cows at the meatworks. The plant in Invercargill closed down for the season, but Robert moved on to the next town along with a bunch of his co-workers. Robert keeps his flat in Invercargill for the weekends and spends Monday thru Friday working and sleeping in Balclutha. This worked well for him until he was slapped with a DUI which stripped him of his license that he can't get back until August. That's alright though, because there's always a driver heading south willing to pick him up from the side of the road whenever he wants to go home for the weekend.
Robert says he was one of the top kids in his class in school. They offered him a Rugby scholarship, but he reckoned drinking was more important and turned it down. Now he figures that was probably a bad call, but he still likes drinking. He went to AA for a few weeks in Auckland a while ago, but it wasn't for him, and he doesn't think he's an alcholic anyways. And that other smart kid in his class may have gotten an engineering diploma, but he sure doesn't seem much happier. Somewhere in between that Rugby scholarship and today, Robert managed to have one child with one woman and four with another. The oldest one doesn't get along with her stepdad, so she moved to Melbourne to live with an aunt. Robert lived in Melbourne for four years, but living in Australia just isn't as good as living in New Zealand. He's been talking to his other ex a lot lately, and they might even get back together. The only problem is that she lives with her Nan up in Hastings, and he can't move in until the old woman dies. He doesn't really care about Hastings, and isn't really all too sure how much he likes his ex, but it sure would be nice to see his kids every day again.
Robert actually could have had more kids. It started when he was working at another meatworks - which was the only job he was ever fired from. Everyone around him was taking a few slices of meat here and there, and so he didn't see the harm in helping himself. He offered some of the free meat to his landlord, but she wanted more. Ever since he showed her a picture of his kids, she reckoned they were some of the most beautiful children around. So naturally, she wanted his sperm - don't worry, she didn't propsition him for sex, she just wanted to use his semen for an artificial insemination. After double checking with his buddy that giving someone your sperm is crazy, Robert refused. And next thing he knew there were cops at his front door accusing him of stealing from the meatworks. The only person who would have reported him was his landlord. The crazy lady was always keen on the rack of lamb he brought home, but then he denied her sperm and she screwed him over.
That's all in the past though. Now Robert is focused on getting $3000 dollars together, because that's the price to buy into an online business. And why would you work when you don't have to? So as long as Robert keeps working the way he's working, he should have the money by the time he gets his license back in August.
In the meantime, Robert is going to enjoy the good things in life. He's really excited to get home to check Facebook - living in Balclutha means no internet access. He's also excited to eat ice cream - usually he eats about 2 or 3 litres a week, and over the past 5 days he hasn't had any. He doesn't have a favourite flavour, he likes everything from chocolate to lime. To him, all ice cream is delicious. But it's the toppings that really make the treat. Robert likes to add milk to his ice cream. Other good combos are French Vanilla and Fanta. Or Chocolate and Coca-cola. But the best way to enjoy a dish is probably ice cream with cream on top - because the cream freezes into a thin layer of deliciousness.
Lucky for Robert, the drive from Balclutha to Invercargill never takes very long. He lives somewhere near downtown, but he likes being dropped off at the Burger King. Whoppers are on special for $4, but Robert doesn't like anything but the Double Whopper, which is never discounted. It doesn't matter though, it's all a treat because they don't have a Burger King in Balclutha. And that is why it's always good to come home.
No comments:
Post a Comment